Monday, May 22, 2017

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road....

       Yesterday marked the beginning of the last week of my 20's....

I can NOT believe such a big time of my life is coming to an end. A decade full of fun, laughter, drunken times, learning curves, achievements and heartbreak.

I feel like this decade was one of the best times as far as finding myself and learning. I've absolutely learned so much about myself in these past 10 years. I've learned to work hard even when you think no ones watching, to (somewhat) balance a checking account, how to keep another breathing object alive, that I can't drink like I used to (but I end up doing it again), that my plans aren't always God's plans, if a guy doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't want one with you, and so much more.

I'm no longer a careless young girl. I do not have everything figured out (yet) but I'm finally getting closer to becoming the woman I've dreamed I'd always be. It took me a while but I finally have a picture of what I want for the future. My 20's were about figuring it out. Going through rough times, failing, loser boys, and soooooo many overdraft fees!

I'm so grateful for the people I've met the last 10 years, good and bad. I'm grateful for the guys that were too immature to be in a relationship with me. Without them, I would have never met the love of my life. And I cant believe I'm about to say it, but I'm grateful for the one who knocked me up. That was the hardest lesson of my 20's but it taught me so much about love and family. I found a family not only for my baby, but me in the process. An unplanned pregnancy, a "nightmare" in the first 5 minutes was what made me grow up. It made me realize that this life is not always about me and my plans are just thoughts that may or may not happen. It was definitely my hardest but favorite heartbreak of them all. Without Olivia, I would not be where I'am. I'm the happiest I've been this decade. She's changed my mind, heart, soul and body....which is another topic.

I realize I do not have the body I did at 20. It has done alot of things since. Chugging a ton of beers, eating alot of good and bad food, working loooonnggg days of cutting hair, and making a life. I do not always love my curvy shape but I've learned to accept and embrace my body for what it can do and not how it looks. I mean I can WERK the body I have anyway. #effyourbeautystandards. It is not always about what people think. They will always have different opinions about how you look. YOU AREN'T PIZZA GIRL, you can't please everyone!!

My hopes for the next decade is to keep growing, building, and grinding for the new found things I really want in life. I'm hoping for a house, a ring and maybe a rugrat or two. I'm also working towards a new career and a college degree!! No matter what age I'm at or milestone I'm hitting I always hope to keep learning. I'm ready to put a decade of pain, heartbreak, mistakes, learning curves and immaturity behind me to really adult. Old enough to know better, but young enough to not care.